Everybody hates cooking.

A hummus recipe.

Everybody.

Your mother, your mother's mother, your uncle, your favourite celebrity chefs, cookbook authors, actual chefs in restaurants, I'm talking about the ~500 million people standing next to a stove right now, all of them, can’t wait to step away from the heat.

Cooking is like intercourse right - nice concept, looks good on TV - but if you ever watched a recording of yourself hunched back, grunting with a triple-chin - wrapping dumplings, stuffing a turkey, or kneading bread, no close-up, no lighting, no bokeh, ASMR snap edited with a Norwegian soundtrack, then you know, that the gag reflex is real.

Try snuggling your other half when he's busy making a lunch box for your kid 30 min before school bell in the morning, let me know if that ended well.

Citizen Kane’s last words was 'rosebud'; not 'sous vide'.

Why then, do we do it?

Well, why do we do everything we hate to do?

For money, health, love.
To escape, to impress, to survive.

I for one, do it for the money.
No, not ‘chefing’ or food writing or newsletter money.

I cook today for the same reason I started cooking in 2005 during college - I really can't afford to eat out every day.

And what’s worse than being poor?
Being poor while getting scammed at the same time.

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We received a fancy jar of hummus last Christmas, and I made a mental note when the wife said she liked it.

So when I saw it in a fancy grocery store, I opened the refrigerator door, took one out, checked the pricetag.

It reminded me of a joke:

When making hummus, what’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?