Gomi Boys Ramen - A Review.
When you step into Gomi Boys, Anthony Bourdain smiles at you. Granted it's a painting hanging at the back of the room, but Bourdain’s face to a middle-aged food person is like Jesus to church-goers - it conjures mixed feelings of loss, respect, admiration, and sadness.
Then you notice the long counter, and the chef busy handling the burner with grill and pans, the water boiling baskets with noodles, followed by a bar, then an open dining area with tables.
You don't need to hear the story from me, Google them, read about how the boys started doing ramen kits during the lockdown, to successfully crowdfunding into a brick-and-mortar shop along Sydney Road.
My recent favourite literary exercise is to sort restaurant reviews on Google by 'lowest rating' and feast on mankind's pettiest, most dismissive, irrational, and often entertaining food reviews. You’ve been warned: if you own a business they may trigger seizures.
Perhaps that’s why on their website, Gomi Boys stressed that they are not Japanese.
They are making the first move in an RPG game.
*cast barrier spell*
We are not Japanese.
*cast mirror*
We are inspired merely by their philosophy.
*cast reflect spell*
Please don't complain and give us a 1-star rating.
They are happy to use ‘ramen’ to sell their noodles though.
Compare the two:
Milawa Duck Shoyu Ramen
Roasted duck breast, duck leg rilette, charred green onion, seasonal fruit, duck and sardine soup, ajitama (boiled egg).
and
Shoyu (free range chicken broth)
Pork belly, nori, spring onion, marinated egg, king oyster mushroom, Chinese broccoli.
They are both the first (and we know ‘first’ means ‘signature’) item of two menus from two different ramen shops. Both $22.
Ramen 1 is from Gomi Boys, and ramen 2 is from Shop Ramen. (Sorry Sayaka, I know the mention of the name boils your Fukuoka tonkotsu blood but I gotta compare white men ramen to white men ramen.)
Granted the first option is a little more wanky, but you gotta admit, it also sounded more technically sophisticated. I for one had to search and confirm how to make a ‘rillette’.
Meanwhile ramen 2 is so 2010, am I right? Why is there nori, and then ‘Chinese’? Why not just gailan? What if I don’t like king oyster mushroom?
Take a look at Gomi Boys again, and you see confidence. A statement that says ‘we can do chicken, but we decided to use duck, the premium poultry.’
However, I did not order the Duck Shoyu Ramen, I ordered the most expensive, gourmet Ebi Tonkotsu. *puts on cravat*
Once again, a mouthful to digest.
Which leads me to ‘W soup’.
'W soup' is Japan's industry slang for double broth.
The 'double' in 'doburu-yu'.
Some restaurants keep a pot of pork broth, and another pot of seafood broth, and they only mix them up in the bowl before serving the ramen.
I'm not saying that's what they do here, but mixing pork and sardine, topped with prawn paste to create broth is an interesting, and not too far-left approach. Tsuta, the award-winning ramen shop in Tokyo has triple soup, made from chicken, clams and dried seafood.
The ‘rich’ tonkotsu isn't your usual Hakata style, but the umami was ridiculous.
I left the prawn gyofun (powder) till the end, and it might have triggered a mild allergic reaction. I was sneezing, yet drinking the soup from the bowl as I wiped the mucus away.
The pork jowls (guancale!) were charred to melt-in-your-mouth creaminess, and the pickled daikon cuts through that fat with striking acidity.
If I have to nitpick, the eggs look damaged. I suspect they used organic eggs as they always give me the hardest time peeling.
Maybe if anyone knows Ben and Ryan, you can tell them about the Daiso egg piercer?
The noodle’s colour is closer to a buckwheat brown. Once again, I suspect they’re using some stone-milled organic flour rather than the full white off the shelf. Ironically, the home brand flour works the best for me. I once used a ‘winter white’ flour from Tuerong Farm to find it not white at all, and dull in flavour.
We shared the fried gyoza with mushroom, farro koji, and the cheese korokke with koji, Szechuan mayo, and chive. (Lots of koji fermentation going on here, how Brunswick.)
It's weird how they price the four gyozas at $8.50, but the ala carte’d the croquettes at $2.50 each. The croquettes were definitely more interesting. I'd have gone $10 for four, as a couple could easily take two each.
A girl once told me that it's illegal for restaurants to have fewer than two vegetarian options on the menu. I’ve never verified that, but she’d be pleased to find out of seven noodle dishes, three are vegan.
They sounded interesting too - almond and mushroom ramen and cauliflower Tan Tan Men (there it is again!)
There are even kids’ options. I really wanted to try the $5 noodles with sesame oil as that’s the best way to taste the noodles.
The best thing about the menu, is the restraint.
We have a duck shoyu, a mixed seafood tonkotsu, vegan mushroom, tantanmen, and vegan tantanmen. I really appreciate the boys not bombarding every shoyu, shio, miso, tonkotsu available because those menus usually mean they’re good at nothing.
Other people’s lack of variety is my seal of confidence.
Anyway here’s my one-sentence, summary of Gomi Boys Ramen, the chewy gooey center of a ramen egg:
At the same price, it’s better than Shop Ramen.
It has more soul than Little Ramen Bar, and Mr. Ramen San.
Mood-wise, the space reminds me of the old Wabi-Sabi.
Before the boom of everything Japanese, my wife and I used to travel all the way to Smith Street and pay $15 for ramen. (That's $30 adjusted to inflation.) It was really oppressive - we knew it was expensive, and it was nothing like the real thing, yet we did not have the resource or self-confidence to soothe our own nostalgia. A very expensive placebo.
I may have hinted that Melbourne’s ramen scene was stagnant, but I apologise, it actually went from a blur ten years ago, to pin-sharp focus present day.
You want your Hakata Tonkotsu, there's Gensuke. You want family style with some city-flair? There's Ippudo. You want warehouse moody bar vibe, with burnt soy oil? Gogyo.
And here we have two blokes choosing to go local, organic, vegan, and people would crowd-fund that.
We have choices now, man.
That’s a giant leap.
Last I heard, Sydney is offering omakase ramen.
(I know, I know, just be happy for the industry.)
The modern food or restaurant reviewer has a tough job. Go against the tide, you lose your credibility; if you parrot the majority, then you have no backbone.
If it’s about what I like, what I want, then why don’t I just pass the keyboard to my daughter, right?
I guess, (and I’m guessing because I don’t have the authority or pull), one can only paint a picture.
Provide context, and some background.
Perspective.
Hopefully, the picture is intriguing enough to get your fat ass out of the couch and into the seats.
(Did you get the metaphorical comparison between food writing and ramen making? It wasn’t too on the nose? Ok, good. )
I walked in ready to hate, but when you see the owners working alone on a Thursday afternoon with rain pouring outside, you just can't.
Because that's the basic spirit of a ramen shop - someone cooking and serving you a bowl of noodles over the counter, when you need it the most.
You can say it’s not authentic (a lazy ‘bleh’ word) ramen, but you can’t say the food is bad. They already said it first, remember?
They serve good food here.
There’s technique, constraint, and creativity.
If I were single going on a first date, and their profile did not specify they’re vegan or not, this would be the ideal place.
I mean, who says no to ramen anyway?