Snaking DD60SCX9.
“Sorry to call you on a Saturday, you must be busy with your family. Can you please provide file access to our store manager so she can upload it to our ordering system?”
Sorry, I didn’t have my phone with me. Busy preparing for Mother’s Day tomorrow. I’ll approve it later.
“Oh, thank you for reminding me! I’ll have to get a cake for my wife, too.”
I lied.
I was not preparing for Mother’s Day; I was in Kmart, looking for a $2 drain snake.
Friday night, after hosting a Japanese family from Hana’s school, our dishwasher farted in Morse code.
Hello, error code A3, my old friend.
To think when my neighbour Graham told me they had to replace theirs last week, I thought, “We bought ours around the same time, I hope it’s ok.”
Jinx.
Ah, but unlike Graham, I have Happy.
Happy is an Indian uncle who worked for the support team.
After our first official call out1, he gave me his personal number and told me to call him in person the next time.
And I did, twice.
Happy fixed our A3 error two years ago.
Before this, it was the rotor that needed to be replaced.
I sent him a text … aaand he ghosted me.
He was probably preparing for Mother’s day too.
It’s down to me, the phone, the possibility of a $300 call out fee, and a banquet of dirty dishes.
The A03 error occurs when the water can’t drain.
Either the filter, the blade or the pipe is blocked.
Clean them, and try again, said the instruction manual.
Not the rotor, so we have a chance to fix this.
Let’s clean the filter. Maybe it’s just a tiny rice.
The last time Happy came, he had a long wire with a brush at the end to floss the two holes leading to the filter and the pipe underneath the rotor.
The official term for the wire is ‘drain snake’.
The act of unclogging the tube, any tube, is called ‘snaking’.
There’s always a Metal Gear Solid reference somewhere.
Alas, the fancy USA one will take 5-6 months to arrive (thanks, tarrifs).
And it cost too much for what it was.
Kmart sells the equivalent, essentially a make-shift wire with a tiny brush taped at the end, for $2.
Now we’re back to the first paragraph, 9am, Kmart, Saturday. Me telling Hana we were shopping for a present for Mum, while I looked for snakes.
Snaking is one thing, but I also remember Happy had some moves to the dishwasher.
A combination of buttons to force the dishwasher into ‘diagnosis’ mode.
Will you forgive me for using AI to fix a robot?
It just makes so much sense.
All I’m doing is taking away the job of an Indian uncle who did not care to reply2.
I’m taking away the job of a conglomerate that would charge me $239 for a call-out fee, and will ultimately push me to buy a new one, since it’s out of warranty.
A typical manager / CEO will ask TARS to find all the best dishwasher repairmen in the area, interview them, and negotiate the best price to fix the dishwasher.
Not I.
I was Solid Snake Man.
Hey TARS, search for the combination button to enter diagnostic mode for the Fisher Paykel Dish Drawer DD60SCX9.
Hey TARS, explore the option of testing the P2 motor to confirm it is working before we snake the drain.
Hey TARS, search for the code for a Fast Test Cycle that is quicker than a full wash.
TARS delivered3.
And despite me snaking the shit out of my dishwasher, the A03 error remained.
Perhaps it’s not clogging on the dishwasher end, but the drain pipe end.
AI can think for you, but in the end, you still need to pilot the aircraft yourself. Touch the shit with your bare hands.
TARS suggested I gather some towels. How kind.
Bring a bucket under the pipe, using a screwdriver to unscrew the fastener, snake it from the rear, pull out all the gunk, like an enema, rinse and repeat.
Error A03.
I asked TARS to ask Gemini to ask Claude to ask Perplexity.
Error A03.
The pipes were cleaner than my intestines.
Error A03.
In the end, I took the most primitive measure.
I switched the machine off and on again.
And kids, that’s how I saved Mother.
As I danced to the humm of DD60SCX9, I had to ask myself, who solved the problem?
My memory of Happy, the free information on the internet, the web of TARS? The people who installed the secret code of the dishwasher?
It’s not men vs machine, it’s men and machine vs problems.
This is a filler episode, like the ‘fly’ episode of Breaking Bad.
I know chefs, business owners and dads are reading this.
When you’re my age, things, relationships, hopes, and expectations, they start to decay.
Our kink is when things get fixed.
So this is your productivity porn fix for the day.
Methaphorically, that deep down, before AI, the machine already owned us.
A red flag that Fisher Paykel Dishdrawer is not a reliable brand, but it’s the only size our apartment could handle.
While I replied to my client’s bubble tea photo request.
Hold the power and start button (both ends) for 5 seconds. It will show ‘DP’, cycle through until you reach ‘FC’ (for fast cycle).