The Fun in Cheong Fun.

(And I'm cooking at a pop-up this Sunday.)

She’s left but my unresolved mummy issues, specifically the rice and tapioca flour she used to make kuih lapis, remains.

I was wondering if I should make my own version, steaming nine layers of diabetic-inducing dessert, before it clicked:

Rice flour, tapioca flour, steam.

The same requirements to make Cheong Fun 肠粉.

Now there’re two types of people in this world - those who’ve been to yum cha / dim sum who love cheong fun; and barbarians.

Come on, even Eater wrote about it, in 2019.

It’s one of those things restaurants have to build big machines, multi-decker steamers to trick you into thinking it’s something special.

But hey, I’ve already revealed the secret to you - rice flour, tapioca flour, steam.

Maybe a little bit of salt, and oil.

There’re plenty of recipes on Youtube, but here’s one of my friend Fenny taking making it at home with her parents.

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Sorry Fenny, after making it, something was missing. It looked good, behaved well, and this could be the Thai rice flour, it tasted very ‘flour-y’.

That lead me to a rabbit hole of Cantonese Youtube videos, and I found another secret ingredient - wheat starch 澄面粉. The same thing you use to make see-through, chewy crystal har gow skin.

In the end, I finished my mum’s flour, and ended up heading towards the grocery store to buy pre-mixed cheong fun flour to compare, then more wheat starch, more dried shrimp, more rice flour …

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I realise the flour-iness comes from the amount of slurry I pour in each time - you just need barely enough to cover the tray/plate.

Too much, and it’s basically rice pancake.

You say: might as well get it at a restaurant, and I say: have you been eating out lately? It’s $40 per head for dimsum nowadays and you’re not even guaranteed a good meal.

I’ll stay home and distract nostalgia with cash, thank you very much.

Don’t worry though, the sauce will take care of everything.

Soy sauce, sugar, water, oyster sauce, MSG, XO sauce - that should satisfy a Cantonese.

You want to satisfy a Malaysian? Sweet sauce - boil 200g hoisin sauce, 100g water, 2 tbsp sugar, 2 tbsp oil, finish with a tsp of sesame oil and a big tbsp of maltose. Top with fried shallots.

For the hardcore Penangites who took too much abuse on their tongues: boil 250g shrimp paste (the dark syrupy type, open windows), 200g water, 4 tbsp peanut butter, 2 tbsp sugar, adn finish with a big tbsp of maltose. Top with fried shallots.

Add the sauce to rice, noodles, rice noodles, bbq pork, steamed vegetables …

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The last week felt like a social media feed:

There’s the passing of Ni Kuang 倪匡 the best Asian sci-fi / wuxia author in the world. Boo. After Louis Cha and James Wong, Chua Lam is now the last standing ‘big four legendary talent’ of Hong Kong. I mean, shit, how many of you understood my last sentence? Is this how you know you’re hitting forty? Your heroes start dying.

I took my daughter to a sushi train restaurant with proper bullet train delivery. Yay.

She had an ear inflammation and I had to take her to the E&E hospital. Boo.
False alarm, she’s fine after the paracetamol. Yay.
But she couldn’t hear from that ear the next day. Boo.

And then we made a cake together for my wife’s birthday. Yay.

But she fell sick. Boo.
Thankfully not COVID. Yay.

The ex-PM of Japan was assassinated. WTF.

We had great sushi to celebrate my wife’s birthday again with great sake and company, and they invited Hana over for a sleepover. Yay.
She did not sleep. Boo.

I did a Masterchef mystery box, making 滷肉飯 using tofu and scallion pancakes using spinach. Yay.

And then the school holiday is over. Yay, wait, boo, hmm maybe yay?

The biggest news that provoked a physical reaction was the closing of Beatrix, the bakery in North Melbourne.

People are queuing blocks after blocks to have cake. Like, we gotta do this, it’s our LAST CHANCE to have someone bake us some cookies and cakes. Oh wait, she wrote a book not long ago with specific instructions on how to recreate her cakes and cookies, or something.

If you have time to queue three blocks for a cake, you have time to bake one.

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Last but not least, I’m cooking at a pop-up this Sunday.

You guys, my loyal fans, knew this day was coming, and I’ve been waiting for the right time.

The right moment.

Finally, with the support of my family, my dream is coming true.

You’ve heard of this place, and most likely you’ve been to this place.

A fine establishment called Bunnings Warehouse.

That’s right, we’ll be cooking fine Bunnings snags from 2-4 pm at Bunnings Port Melbourne. Come say hi and contribute to whatever my wife signed us up for.

I honestly have no idea who we’re raising money for.

Please be anti-cruelty against animals.
That’d be funny.