Satoshi, my shokupan-baking friend/boss was in Hakata for one day. Coincidentally, in a stars-aligning way, Chika was meeting her friends for lunch in the city on the same day.
Which means I could actually drive to him after dropping her off.
I, a non-Japanese, on my only day in the city this trip, was a tour guide for a Tokyoite in Fukuoka.
Even though we both live in Melbourne.
I don't remember how Genki Ippai1 got on my list. Probably because, uh, it's ranked NUMBER ONE in Fukuoka on Tabelog, the Japanese food review site that is stricter than Michelin.
The question of whether Michelin is giving out hats too easily is neutralised by the Japanese constantly wondering ‘this place is so good, why is it only 3.2?’ on Tabelog2.
Genki Ippai has no logo, noren or signage - the only indication that ramen is being served is a tiny blue bucket hanging on the front. Rumour has it that when the chef is not happy with the broth, he won't open shop.
I love the anti-design attitude behind it.
Who needs branding when you have the product and the confidence?
Suck this, $20k branding agencies.
As I waited for Satoshi and daughter to arrive I dug further.
When they first opened in 2000 or something, the rules were:
Take a sip of the soup before you start with the noodles.
DO NOT eat the spicy takana (mustard leaves) first as they are spicy and will numb your tongue. Mix them little by little with the noodles.
No photography, no phones (put them in your pocket), no book reading, no smoking, no disturbing other patrons.
DO NOT ask the owner about his ramen, or attempt to guess the ingredients.
If you don’t obey the rules, you can go to other shops.
A few online reviews claimed that the owner has softened up in recent years.
Five guys started queuing in front of me.
Come on Satoshi.
An old lady opened the door and spoke to us in English.
She was surprised that only one of us was a gaijin.
“Oh Australia, welcome. Here’s an English menu.”
Definitely not the ramen yakuza I was expecting.
That's when I saw the Michelin guide on the front door.
2019 Fukuoka Saga edition.
Suddenly, everything kinda made sense.
Technically, there's only one type of ramen on the menu.
Creamy tonkotsu ramen.
The rest is just semantics:
tonkotsu ramen with more charsiu
tonkotsu ramen with more kikurage3
tonkotsu ramen with more charsiu and kikurage
tonkotsu ramen with more charsiu, kikurage, and spring onion
No legendary takana to be seen.
According to nikkei.com the owner claimed that it’s hard to source palatable takana nowadays.
The lady took our orders as we moved to the front of the queue.
We later found out she was controlling the tempo inside the small shop.
There were never more than 5 or 6 customers in one seating, giving her time to maneuver the dirty bowls, provide breathing space for the chef, managing expectations.
The interior was just like the exterior - no designer or architects were involved.
From our corner table, posters said ‘photography ok!’ with a thumbs up.
‘Follow us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram!’4
I took a photo of the wires in the kitchen, stood up, had direct eye contact with the chef.
He fucking gave me a peace.
I actually gave Satoshi another choice before coming here.
My favourite since 2017.
The owner specialises in creamy chicken broth ramen. From time to time, he pushes other styles like udon, mazesoba, tsukemen .. he tweaks the thickness of the noodles.
‘Experimental’ is probably the word I'm looking for here.
Since I didn't grow up with Tonkotsu in my bones, I like it for how un-Fukuokan it is. There has to be more than life than pork bone broth.
Genki Ippai is at the other end of the corner.
The noodles didn’t have the acidic funk in your usual Tonkotsu ramen, but it was without a doubt a bowl of Tonkotsu ramen.
Only creamier, smoother, sweeter.
The noodles are on the hard side, but the wheat doesn’t overpower. It actually reminded me of angel hair pasta.
Maybe, the broth was that creamy.
It’s obvious the owner has a vision of what a perfect bowl of Tonkotsu ramen should be, and he presented it his way, without a single ounce of hesitation.
I recently learned about the '3 percent approach' in fashion design, coined by Virgil Abloh (RIP) - you only need to change 3 percent of a finished product to invent something new.
In Genki Ippai's case, the 3 percent is taking something out.
We were not consulted on our preferred hardness of noodles, no way to adjust the amount of spring onions or fat or tare or garlic like Ichiran.
It’s a declaration: this is not a bubble tea shop.
Take it or leave it.
In a city that's known for Tonkotsu ramen, I can see why it is ranked no.1.
The downside? The price.
This uncle is always on about the money.
900 yen for the 'starter' bowl was super steep for the Michelin tax.
200 yen just for spring onions? Were they handpicked by mermaids?
And just like the Ichiran franchises, the paper-thin slices of charsiu nowadays are purely for decoration purposes. Why bother man, just take it away.
In the future, a bowl of ramen will just be soup and noodles.
Like soba.
But get this, after you finish your noodles, you can request a curry kaedama.
As you mix your curried noodles in your soup, your ramen gets a second life.
A creamy curry ramen, almost like a carbonara.
This is not 3 percent, this is a slap in your face.
Most reviews just skim it off as it isn’t kosher, but this M Night Shyamalan type of cocktail mixing - getting two types of ramen for 1150 yen is what I'm here for.
It's hard for me to defend my other favourite spot.
The guy is standoff-ish, recluse, and probably proud of his artisanal spirit. (Subtext: wank!) That one time, he stopped me from taking photographs with my phone. (‘Noodle ok, kitchen no!’)
I know making your own noodles, your own soup and running a business is tough, but come on man, what am I gonna steal? I can't even buy pork bones from the supermarket.
But, he fulfills the 'novelty' side of my ramen expectation, chasing new things, while Genki Ippai reassures the 'familiarity' of what Fukuoka ramen is.
Grumpy, does not change, insisting things the old-fashioned way?
Shokunin da, so Japanese!
Accommodating everyone, giving impeccable service out of their comfort zone? Omottenashi da, so Japanese!
So, if you have, one shot, one moment, to bring your friend to taste his only bowl of ramen in Fukuoka, how would you capture it?
A place where your guests will go 'oh no so which ramen should I get?' while the owner is a little grumpy, OR the other place that serves only one signature ramen with a front of house, bright lights, an English menu, offering to take a group photo for you?
I deliberately not tell Satoshi about the rankings as an experiment.
I think he’s happy.
After ramen, Satoshi took me to a Moonstar showroom.
Hana has a few pairs at home.
We usually buy them online so it’s weird for me to see them in a retail space.
If you’re in Fukuoka looking for a local souvenir, you should buy a pair of these ‘made in Kurume’ shoes.
Like the coffee beans I ordered.
Speaking about coffee, I wanted to bring them to the Fukuoka branch of Toshi’s recommendation, but they be closing Tuesday.
I took them to Manu Coffee, a place where I knew I could customise a latte into a small cup.
And after that, we walked to Komaya, my favourite daifuku place.
Strawberry is not in season, so we had red bean and chestnut instead.
They had to catch a train to catch another night train to Tokyo.
So we high-fived each other and said ‘see you in Melbourne.’
I drove back in peak hour traffic.
Translation: see title of post. Please for your own sake do not mispronounce ‘ippai’ as ‘oppai’. The latter means ‘boobs’. ‘Happy boobs’ is a different shop around the corner.
Seriously you see hundreds of reviews going 'it was great! We had a great time! 3/5 stars'. If a shop scores any higher than 3.5, then the shop is fantastic. A 4.5 is equivalent to three hats, and ‘don’t bother, you can’t get a seat here.’.
Kikurage is Japanese for *drum roll* wood ear LOL my Instagram readers get this
Talking on the phone is still a big NO NO.
What's the other ramen place, with the tori paitan?