The Can-adians.
What do a vet shop in Brunswick, a cafe in St Kilda, a Japanese grocery in Fitzroy, and a kitchenware shop in Vancouver have in common?
Last month, I received an email from Knifewear. The owner Kevin was in Melbourne during Christmas, bought a copy of my book in Bench Coffee, loved it, and wondered if I offer wholesale.
I googled and went through my sales record.
Canada?
I mean, sure I can mail it and work out a wholesale price for you. Can you tell me roughly how many copies you have in mind? Ten, fifteen?
Two boxes.
I spit out my Château Lafite Rothschild and slurped it back.
“SCAM! This is a scam,” I yelled to myself as I checked shipping rates.
15kg of books to Canada wasn’t cheap. The printer has a branch in America, but due to some tariff bullshit, their drop shipping was almost 50% of the printing.
We were at a stalemate.
That same week, I did my first food tour, right?
Mike and Kathleen were part of the group.
Two days prior we were at a pub with their host in South Melbourne and I asked if they had heard of this ‘Knifewear’.
“Mike has five knives from Knifegear!” Said Kath.
“It’s Knifewear. The place is aboot a five-minute drive from our place!” Said Mike.
I told them about the shipping deadlock and without missing a beat they said: “we have no checked-in luggage. We can carry the books for you.”
For those who say the Japanese are nice, well, nice my ass.
Canadians are where it’s at.
Who the fuck offers to carry 15kg of books for a stranger they only met for two hours?
Have they not watched Prison Break, or Shawshank Redemption? Did their parents not teach them about not taking luggage on behalf of strangers? What if I hid fentanyl in the books? Death penalty.
I was moved by the offer, but brushed it off as drunken kindness.
They buggered off to Sydney after Melbourne, so I thought that was it.
A week later Mike voluntarily texted me to say “hey, we are still keen to carry your books for you!”
Seriously, what the fuck.
Surely, Knifewear would object? They would want to receive the books through proper chan- nope Knifewear was completely alright with this arrangement. They have transferred the money.
My daughter is currently learning the basics of some ICT (Information and Communications Training) baloney. She told me the first rule of ICT is to never share your details, the second rule of ICT is to never share your details bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Meanwhile, her old man was moving books in boxes, relying on strangers he’s met only twice, through a twenty-hour flight to another continent he’d never been to.
Everything I have done goes against whatever the state taught her as common sense.
I’ve been helping Kumi with her vet clinic since she was driving around her mobile clinic giving acupuncture treatment to pets during COVID.
In December, she asked if I could help photograph her products for the online store. I took two bags of products and got to work. The paint was still drying on the wall, girls returning in days. Product, snap. Product, snap. Product -
I saw my book.
I’d forgotten she was one of the first retailers who stocked them.
But you’re a vet clinic. I remember saying.
“Yes, but it’s interesting, maybe people will buy them,” she said.
Without Tim from Books for Cooks, there will be no second print of Soy Sauce, Sugar, Mirin.
I remember showing him a copy of my first run, and he gave me the idea of going print-by-demand.
That way, I don’t have a room full of tree slices rotting away.
That way, shops don’t have to put my books on fire sale.
It’s true, I was at Readings, and the bestsellers from last year are now on the discount rack. If the retailers took 1000 copies, and they only sold 500 during Christmas, they need to make space for the new bestsellers of this year.
At this point, my book was four five years old.
I can’t compete.
“I’m selling books that are hundreds of years old. If a book is good, people will buy it,” Tim dropped the mic.
My latest stockist is Hinoki in Fitzroy.
Funny (and guilty) story, I went to Happy Valley across the street first.
I always liked that bookshop, it has a very ‘support local’, intellectually quaint vibe.
I did not get to finish my name, and the guy shut me down.
“Sorry, we don’t do self-published.”
Aw.
Ten years ago, I’d have written a one-star review immediately. But nowadays, I know bookshops have it tough. I will just lick the door handles.
On my way to the car, I remembered we ran out of soy sauce, and crossed the road to Hinoki.
As I was queuing, it struck me: the title of my book.
This shop stocks the title of my book.
I locked eyes with the lady, and she recognised me as the guy who always wore the ‘JA’ cap.
I gave Saori the book and asked her to ask the big guy in Suzuran to consider stocking them in Hinoki.
Two days later, she took ten copies.
So, hot shot, what do a vet shop in Brunswick, a cafe in St Kilda, a Japanese grocery in Fitzroy, and a kitchenware shop in Vancouver have in common?
See also: Books for Cooks, Readings Carlton, Hinoki, and Minimaru.
They have impeccable taste.
And thanks to a couple of Canadians, the knife shop in Vancouver is currently my biggest sugar daddy.
Canadians man, they rhyme with ‘Enablers’.
Muji and Milligram, I don’t know what you guys are thinking1. You are missing out on being a true cultural zeitgeist here. What does it mean when a Canadian knife shop is more responsive than our so-called ‘local’ brands?
Am I showing off?
You damn right I am.
I have no money, but I have what money can’t buy.
I’m showing off my growth, or rather, my slow romance, seeing that today is Valentine's day and all.
Some parts of me are extremely embarrassed that I’m boasting 10 copies of book sales. The goal should be pushing products, selling ads, sponsorship, factories, automation…
But it’s nice knowing that the people stocking the book also genuinely appreciate and believe in the book.
Here’s another advertising anecdote.
A client was arriving interstate for a pitch. The agency strategically purchased every billboard along the client's route from the airport to their office, showcasing their work. By the time the client arrived, they thought the agency was a dominant force.
The way I see it, my books are mini billboards.
Why pay for ads, when others will pay me to be featured in their shop2?
I’m only joking. If any of my readers know anyone in there who has the authority to stock merchandise, psst, I got some books, yo. Come get some books, yo.